Lazy Lazy students!

So, for the 29th year in a row, A levels results have been better than the year before. If you believe the politicians, it is not the result of grade inflation. No! It is because students and teachers are working harder than ever and we should acknowledge and celebrate their efforts.

Modern students - now chained to their desks 

And I do. And yet, I want to have a go at this year's students for being a lazy bunch of losers. You see, this is how I figure it. I took my A levels back in the 1980s and the results that year were record-breaking. My my! We did work hard to get those results and the politicians were right. We deserved praise for all our hard work. That was the key to our success.

I must have been stupid & lazy

But, one year later, the students in the year below did even better. I don't know how, but they had worked harder than us. Still, despite all their hard work, the year below them worked even harder. They must have done. The politicians told us that's why they got record results. It now appears that I was actually a completely lazy layabout. Every year since, the students have worked a little bit harder every year. Given that modern students appear to be living fairly balanced lives - studying, partying, going to the cinema, etc, this clearly means that way back in my day, my hard work must have been a pretty paltry effort.

A-Levels - handed out on street corners

And when, in a few years' time, there have been even better results, it will be pretty clear that today's students have been fairly lazy too. So, well done students. Congratulations! And, at the same time, you should be pretty ashamed of your slacking.

Or perhaps the politicians are just lying to us yet again. They have been working harder and harder at lying for years now. And, this year is another record-breaking year for their stupid lies.