Wednesday 23 February 2011

Royal Wedding Special

I don't know about you, but I just cannot wait for the wedding of William & Kate. This is all the more profound on this (24th Feb), the 30th anniversary of the official announcement of the fairy-tale wedding of Charles & Diana.

                         Charles attempts to strangle Diana - 30 years ago today

Everyone is wishing the young royals all the very best of british luck, just as they had done for Charles & Diana. History records that fairy tales can come true - Charles eventually got to marry the woman he was in love with (Camilla) and Diana gave herself selflessly to royal life by providing DNA untainted by in-bred mental illness. Of course, her untimely death was a tragedy and british subjects mourned her passing as if she was a member of their own family - which she wasn't.

In keeping with the excitement generated by the forthcoming royal wedding, british artist Lydia Leith has produced a souvenir that will prove to be very useful on such a special occasion. She has designed a royal wedding sick-bag - particularly useful if, like me, you get so sick of the non-stop, excessively fawning coverage of the big event that you need to take a 'stomache-break'. I hope that Lydia can keep up with the demand for her product - there are only two months before the wedding and she needs some time to sleep each day.


                     (Small print - 'Throne up - Keep this handy on April 29th 2011')

Now, I know that some will get quite giddy just thinking about the royals and feel that I am missing out by not sharing their enthusiasm. There are those who believe that british life is enhanced by having a royal family. The usual refrain is that 'it's good for tourism'. Well, the French got rid of their royal spongers a couple of centuries ago and they don't seem to have any trouble attracting visitors - not just to Paris, but to attractions with a particularly royal theme, like the Palace of Versailles.

The truth is that, far from enriching british culture, the british obsession with royalty does the complete opposite. Walk through any town in France and you will see streets named after their great and good - Rue Victor Hugo, Rue Alexander Dumas, Rue Louis Pasteur and so on - and their public art celebrates these great and worthy citizens with statues. In Britain, our town centres are littered with statues of undeserving royals. The two most prominent statues in Liverpool, for instance, celebrate Queen Victoria and her feckless layabout son, Edward VII.


Edward VII is hardly a man to celebrate - certainly not in place of the many wonderful scientists, engineers and social reformers that Britain had produced at that time in our history. He spent most of his years, as Prince of Wales, being a drain on the royal purse - gambling, maintaining mistresses and generally living the life of a playboy. And what exactly did he do to earn this life of privilege? Some ancestor, many generations before, won some battle somewhere and he was lucky enough many years later to find himself in line to the throne. We celebrate a lucky, lazy, sponger - and in doing so, we fail to celebrate someone who might actually be worthy of the accolade.

No - british life is impoverished by fawning to these unworthy leeches. And fawning is what we now have to look forward to - especially from the BBC. We live in a country which has been financially broken by the 'elite' and yet it is the ordinary people that are picking up the tab. These very same impoverished people will be told that they should get off their backsides and wave their flags in celebration of a wedding of two of these undeserving elite. And they will. They will not complain about the expense. They will do as they are told - as they always have done - and quietly submit, willingly, to the expensive party that they are not invited to.


So, you can either do your bit as a british citizen subject and wave your flag, or you can do what I intend to do. I will spend the day at somewhere like the Science Museum or the Natural History Museum where I will celebrate individuals who actually deserve some recognition (Brunel, Darwin, Newton etc). And, rest assured, I will have my sick bag with me - just in case I catch a glimpse of the royal wedding coverage. But just to prove that I harbour no ill-feeling towards William & Kate in particular, I send them my best wishes for a long and happy marriage with a rendition of a truly romantic song - reflecting in its very quality, all the honour and respect I hold for the royal family...


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