Such is the plight of ITV Chairman Sir Michael Grade. "Shocking" is how he described it.
What, you may ask, has Sir Michael in such a state of astonishment? What has him so stupefied? Perhaps, on this, the anniversary of the IRA bombing in Aldershot, it may be the fact that there is no memorial to the innocent people who died that day? Or maybe he has heard the news from New Zealand, where so many have died in the devastating earthquake?
Actually, his state of shock is due to the fact that Bruce Forsyth, a multi-millionaire married to a former Miss World, has not yet been given a knighthood. Yes, that's right - he is 'shocked'. Despite earning over £5m last year, Brucie, who gets paid an estimated £25,000 for after-dinner speeches, has only ever been given a CBE. I think that it is time to insist that enough is enough. Don't you just feel for this poor man? Aren't you gutted that he has not yet received the recognition he so richly deserves? Brucie has worked hard for that knighthood. It is his by rights. So what does Brucie make of his efforts over the years that have helped amass such a fortune? He told the Radio Times...
"You can do a series in two weeks. Then take as much time off as you like. Money for old rope. People don't understand I can be the laziest person in the world. In Puerto Rico I eat well, and lounge in the shade on the beach reading lots of books, mostly courtroom dramas."
I think a petition is called for. Some people deserve more and, let's face it, a CBE, many millions of pounds, and a house the size of Bracknell are simply not enough. Do the decent thing, Cameron. Give Brucie a knighthood now. Shocking!
Update
Brucie consoled after shocking revelations
Bruce Forsyth has been at his luxury mansion today being consoled by friends after the shocking news was revealed by philanthropist Michael Grade. A photo just released shows him being helped to walk - the burden of living without a knighthood has taken its toll, a source close to Brucie revealed.
It has also been revealed by a family friend that Brucie, 83, has been refused a home help by Berkshire Social Services. Brucie had asked for the help as he was having difficulty carrying his money around from room to room in his luxury mansion. A file presented to the council, and leaked to journalists at the Berkshire Bugle, included photographs of Brucie struggling to carry wads of money back from one of his latest 'money for old rope' quiz shows. Berkshire Social Services have refused to comment.
Struggling
Money for old rope? I'd rather have the rope and hang myself by the balls rather than have to sit through any show with Mr not so nice to see you.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, my personal preferences should not cloud the fact that a great injustice has been done. It's obvious to everyone, even the deaf, dumb and blind, that this saintly man deserves a knighthood.
Never mind the hundreds of thousands of people who have been killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, never mind the ongoing genocide of the Palestinians, I will chain myself to the railings of Buckingha, Palace until this wrong has been righted. I will not sleep until I hear the words "Arise Sir Brucie. Arise a bit more. Higher, higher, higher, NO!, lower, lower, higher..." cont'd page 94