Good News from the Land of 0$ - The Wicked Witch is dead!

Once upon a time, there was a magical land called 0$. Nobody knows for sure how it got that name, but many believed that it had something to do with the fact that there were no dollars left any more. The land was protected from catastrophe by the Wizard of 0$ and he lived in the Emerald City (home of the 'green back'), which was built high on the hill of Ponzi.

Home of the 'Green Back'

There was once a little girl (originally from Kansas) called Dorothy, though most people knew her as Dot Combubble, who found that she crashed in the magical Land of 0$. She heard about the Wizard and decided to set off to see if he could help her. She soon found others who were in need of help. In the mid west she found a scarecrow. He lived on a farm and like all those who lived in such farms he was broke. He was also pretty stupid, as he kept voting for the nasty people who didn't care about him or his kind.

So dumb, he voted Republican

Then she met a Tin Man. He was based in the north-east and spent all day making things from metal. But he was seizing up and worried that, before long, he wouldn't be able to move at all. And then she met a Cowardly Lie-on. He was a Congressman and he was too scared to do what was really needed to save the Land from going under. So, together the four of them set off to see the Wizard in the Emerald City, walking along the gold brick road, which seemed to be getting steeper and steeper in front of them.

The Gold Brick Road - rising up & up

Finally, they arrived at the Emerald City and they soon realised why it had that name. Everywhere they looked, more and more of the 'green backs' were being printed. As they produced more and more of them, so the gold brick road appeared steeper and steeper. At long last, the weary band of travellers were granted an audience to see the Wizard. And how they were impressed by what they saw. The Wizard was awesome. He was producing the green backs with little effort and they were being showered upon the people. He looked so mighty and so in control that Dorothy and her new friends just knew he could help them all.

Wizard of 0$

However, just as the Wizard was doing his thing, along came a little dog called Total Debt (or Toto for short). Toto pulled back the curtain to reveal that the grand Wizard was really just a frightened little man called Ben. Just when it seemed that all hope would be lost, good news arrived from the land of the Munchkins. The Wicked Witch of the East, 0$ama, had been killed and now everything would be OK again.

The Wicked Witch is dead!

But just as everyone was rejoicing, a little voice was heard to warn that because the Wicked Witch of the East had been killed, the other Wicked Witches might not be happy about that. In fact, as you kill one Wicked Witch, it seemed that many more Wicked Witches came into being. And all the printed 'green backs' in all the world were not going to make this problem go away. But it didn't stop the Wizard. He carried on printing and printing and the gold brick road just got steeper and steeper.

More and more...

Who knows where the story will end? The Land of 0$ continues to be plagued by stupid Scarecrows, seized-up Tin Men and cowardly Lie-ons. And the world beyond is still producing more and more Wicked Witches. Will they ever learn? Sadly, I don't think so. The death of Wicked Witch 0$ama will do very little to help the Munchkins. But for now, they can all believe in fairy tales.

I'm not melting any time soon