Super-injunction Madness

So, the world of 'news' is buzzing with talk of super-injunctions. It seems that a famous professional footballer has taken out one of these legal sledgehammers and is desperate to keep his affair with some bimbo quiet. The trouble, of course, is that social network sites like Twitter don't really obey the normal rules, so our brave footballer is now trying to sue them too.

Girl at centre of Super-injunction row - Imogen Thomas

Not that I could care less who did what with whom, but why is this guy bothering when all it takes is to dive on to Twitter, search for 'football' and there is his name, being splashed around like a splashy name-like thing? Who is he trying to keep this news from? The cat is out of the bag - like a cat that has never ever seen the inside of a bag or even knows what a bag looks like.

The inside of the bag

Far be it from me to name names - it would be against the law anyway - but what do I think that this footballer should do now? Well, I suggest that he should take a leaf out of the book of some of our more esteemed and celebrated football gentlemen - role models like, say, Ryan Giggs. After all, the man is a living legend and was the Sports Personality of the Year for 2009. I bet he would be able to set this mystery footballer straight - you know, give him some advice about how to lead a sensible and modest life away from the media spotlight. Yes, that would be my advice. Talk to Giggsy!

A gentleman who could advise our mystery footballer