Wednesday 23 March 2011

Gaddafi in X-Factor Bid

Events in the Libyan Crisis took an unexpected turn yesterday when Colonel Gaddafi turned up at an X-Factor audition in a bold attempt to win popular support for his leadership. X-Factor supremo Simon Cowell was shocked when Gaddafi took to the stage, but the expression of awe soon changed to smiles as the beleaguered Libyan leader turned in a masterful performance of Elton John's hit song 'I'm Still Standing'.

Gaddafi - 'I'm still standing'

Gaddafi wowed the audience with a note-perfect rendition of the song he has been singing for over 40 years. New X-Factor judge, Silvio, took to his feet and applauded the Libyan leader and urged fans to vote for Gaddafi to keep him in the competition. Simon Cowell was impressed with his voice, but complained that the song choice was poor, blaming it on Louis Walsh.

Silvio - urged fans to vote for Gaddafi

Not all of the judges were won over. World Statesman William Hague was not as forthcoming with praise, complaining bitterly that Gaddafi's hat looked ridiculous. However, Simon Cowell interupted Hague's comments to suggest that he was just trying to maintain his 'Mr Mean' image. "Don't listen to him Muammar", urged Cowell, "Willie once wore a baseball cap that everbody laughed at".

Hague - 'Did you see his hat?'

The X-Factor gossip mill has suggested that although Hague's comments were uncomfortable, Gaddafi should survive into the next round. "I can take the flak", promised the Libyan leader after the show. "I have had more worthy opponents than Willie Hague and he doesn't scare me".

Attention will now turn to next week's show to see if Gaddafi can survive. The bookies have suggested that he is odds-on to make it through, with little confidence being expressed that Hague has the power to stop his progression. There will be fireworks over Tripoli tonight to celebrate - the night sky has been lit up for the last few days in anticipation of his continued success.

Meanwhile, Willie has been defending his baseball cap image from his days as Tory leader. "That cap made me look cool and I will not take lessons in headgear from a murdering tyrant. I'll ask Sebastian Coe instead".

Hague - 'Fashion icon'

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